Turtle

Turtle. Slow. Methodical. Purpose. These are the four words that come to mind when I look at this photo. This is a turtle walking through the grass with purpose. His approach is methodical. 

Today, I feel like this turtle. Life feels slow, yet methodical. I walk with purpose. Make meaning with my interactions. Share a purpose with my team at work, and my family at home. While both are different, I realize that we are all faced with the same purpose, and that's appreciation, recognition, and love. Love. We learn love, just like we learn the opposite of love. When we take any kind of action, we should lead with love. I should have learned that this morning, in the line at the stop sign, leaving our neighborhood. The four cars in front of me were all turning left - against the grain, and I was turning right. I got a bit frustrated, and grumbled a few words under my breath. I did not lead that situation with love. Then, I looked at the young faces in my car, and said loud so all could hear, "It's most important that we all take our turn. My time is just as valued as the next person, so we will just wait our turn." I looked at those young faces again, and got the nod of approval. All was well.

Are you taking time like the turtle in your life? Should you be more like the turtle? I know I need to be more like the turtle. If you see me in real life not being like him, come slap me on the back, and yell, "TURTLE!" I will know what you mean. 

Item #9483: Smell is so important for teenagers. Please, for the love of all that is holy, have a hygiene talk with a teenager in your life. Let them know being clean is for people around them, and that it will cut down on the number of flies that are around them. 😜

I love your guts! XO

If only I had time...

Today, I heard someone say this, and all I could shout in my head is that we all have the same number of seconds, minutes, and hours every day. We make time for what and who is important to us. Some are givers. Others are takers. Which one are you?

I know that I am a giver, and have guilt for taking. The guilt was because I always find myself in service of others, and think that taking time for myself is selfish. This couldn't be further from the truth. I realized, and learned from others along my journey of life, that it is good to take care of myself. When I am well, I am better able to give to others. 

Recently I find that I want to live a more purpose filled life, because death comes to us all. I want my friends to sit at my funeral laughing about how I would be rolling my eyes if there is a casket instead of an urn. I want my friends to laugh through their tears, and count themselves lucky that we have snarky things that only we would understand. I don't think they are going to sit there and say, "Oh, she was just a (fill in the title) at work. And she was late turning in her finance numbers." This is crap. I have so much more to do, give, and live for on this planet. My list is long, and there are more milestones that I want to see my kids achieve. Yes, all three kids.

Time is definitely what you decide. How will you spend your time? Will you make meaning today, tomorrow, and until you are done on this earth?

Item #4293: Cough into your elbow. Smile at a stranger. Hell, smile at people you know. You never know when small acts of kindness will make a difference. 

I love your guts! XO 

Gratitude

It has been almost TWELVE months since I posted. I'm baaaack!

A lot has happened. This cutie pie joined our family about a month ago, and the kids are over-the-moon excited to have Jack part of our family. Our oldest son is now twenty-five. Our middle child is a few months away from being a teenager. And our daughter is a tween. Work is work. Life is good, and I cannot complain.

People have come and gone through our life in the last year. We know who our friends are, and sometimes we get sick, and can't mow our lawn. Now, I'm sure you're thinking that the sentence you just read couldn't be more random, but it's true. I am not saying our friends/neighbors said to the home owner's association that the weeds in our yard are a nuisance, but we did get sick, and couldn't go outside. Good news. Our yard has since been rid of weeds, and mowed.

Spring has sprung, and leaves a yellow dusting of pollen...EVERYWHERE. Please, for the love of all that is holy, keep the pollen in your plants! 

Item #4699: Nobody will care what your t-shirt said, or the logo you plastered on your shoes. They will remember the way you pissed them off when you parked too close to their vehicle, when there were a million other spaces in the parking lot. (Sarcasm. Look it up.)

I love your guts! XO

April has gone...

Holy. Smokes. March flew by faster than I thought. And April was a blink in time. So much has happened.

Here's a recap of events since February:

My annual liver check with my gastroenterologist resulted in me getting a baseline test with new technology that was non-invasive. The results of this test indicated that I have severe fatty liver infiltration, and severe scarring on my liver. These indicate that I'm at risk for more damage and liver cancer to occur. (Don't fret, it's worse than it sounds...laugh. It's OK. I know things will be OK.)

When I got the results from my gastroenterologist, I was told he wanted to put me in a study in San Antonio. Well, that was a flop. I was not accepted because I'm still on Tamoxifen (the medicine I take daily to help keep cancer away). The nurse at the study center had the nerve to tell me when I'm off of Tamoxifen for a year, I can come back to see if there is a study that fits with my situation. (I call my situation, Medical Unicorn Goddess, or MUG.)

After mulling over this fantastic news (sarcasm), I took a step back and reached out to the doctors at MD Anderson. I explained my medical history and the recent result of this test. While cancer is not active in me, thank goodness, I was determined to get a second look from a group of doctors that took care of many that I know/knew. 

The team there was/is fantastic. They got me to the right group. Set up an appointment and at the end of March, I was on my way, with Jeff. When we arrived, I felt cared for from the minute we checked in at the Rotary House (hotel attached to the hospital). I'm so blessed we could stay there and was able to get my lab work done in the hotel. I had a great meeting (about 2 hours) with the physician assistant and the doctor. They asked questions, I asked questions and many things were revealed that helped me know that my gastroenterologist was fired. The test results didn't feel right and I was glad I went to get another point of view on my MUG. Being there, I had a lot of information to process. 

The doctor ordered lab work looking at specific markers and said he would call me with results. When he said he would call me, I expected to hear from the physician assistant. Not the case. He called me himself and gave me the news that I'm on the high end of normal - basically the razor's edge of tipping into the danger zone.

Even when we returned home, I was still trying to decide what next step I was going to take.

I mulled over what to do and then here comes May 1st. My appointment with my primary care physician for my 3 month diabetes check up. I shared the information with her about my visit at MD Anderson. She had not received the lab results and asked me to reach out to get them.

May 2nd - I was able to get the files from my MD Anderson portal and send to my primary care physician to review. While going through my day, the nurse called with my lab results and said that I'm on track and met all my goals - A1C is in line (which was MOST important). Hopefully in another 3 months, she will reduce the number of meds I'm taking.

May 3rd - The nurse at my primary care's office called to say that my doctor would like me to go to see a specialist at the Texas Liver Institute, which now has an office in Austin. Now we are getting somewhere. Appointment to be scheduled soon.

Whew! That was a lot of information. I hope all of this makes sense. 

 

Thank you for sharing this journey with me. I'm hopeful that the next specialist will be able to bring me answers.

 

Item #9393: Be better than you were yesterday. Even if this means picking up your socks or washing your dishes.

 

I love your guts!