All clear...??

Here is what I know. Last week, my CT scan showed no signs of stupid cancer. YAY! However, it did reveal fatty liver deposits. BOO! And it showed that I still have cysts on my right ovary. SHIT!

Luckily, the fatty liver deposits are a side effect of Tamoxifen. Thanks drug makers, you really suck. I can curb some of this with lowering intake of saturated fats and increased exercise. OK, I can do these things.

Monday, I saw my gynecologist to get an update on how my ovary and uterus are looking. We were pleasantly surprised to see that my uterus looked better than before. Again, YAY! My ovary had cysts on there, but they were smaller than before. WOOO-HOOOO! I have to go back in July to get my Mirena replaced and get a check up on how my ovary is doing with the cysts. Again, the cysts are a side effect of Tamoxifen. Yes, another side effect. Do not Google the drug because the side effects will make your head spin. I stopped reading the list in October 2012.

I go see my oncologist in a couple of weeks to recap the CT results and findings from my gynecologist. Not sure what she will say, but I know there will be lab work to check my liver enzymes again. Hopefully she will not want to see me until July or August, too.  

Today I boldly declare that all is clear and leave all the crappy news behind me. I wake up looking forward to see the sun and feel it on my skin. I hug my kids and encourage them to be good to themselves and others.

Item #98: Take your shoes off and walk through the grass. Feel the grass on the bottom of your feet and between your toes. Look down to see the different colors. Close your eyes to smell the grass. And if you are so bold, lay down in the grass and remember what it is like to be close to the ground. Be humble in your actions today. Carry on!

I love your guts!

Remind me to quit complaining...

Maybe I am not complaining on the outside, but on the inside, I am pissed off! I went to get my lab work done again yesterday to check my liver enzyme levels. They were still elevated. BOO! Elevated enough for the doctor to want me to get a CAT scan...this week or ASAP. 

Simmer down. I am picturing that the results will net nothing and the doctor scratching her head in disbelief. I want to come through this test with my arms held high as the winner. F* this side effect. One med that is supposed to keep me from crappy cells growing, promotes other issues. 

Collectively, let us take a moment to be still and know HE is God. I need to breathe deeply and get in my relaxed place. Go there with me and pray for the results to be clear. 

Item #185: Say something nice to someone that annoys you. Shock them into being less annoying. Ha! Just kidding. You will probably just shock yourself. They will not know the difference.

And drink more water!

I love your guts!

Tears of joy or frustration?

Frustration. I am tired of cancer prevention, in the form of medication or multiple medications, result in other types of damage and even more cancer. Damage to other organs, your well being, state of mind and lifestyle.

Frustration. Enough said.

I love your guts!

Adversity

In the face of adversity, the way we handle ourselves and others will show the world our character. Now, I am not sure if this is a saying but it sounds pretty darn inspiring.

Today, many people close to me are facing adversity in their lives. While I am not a proponent of sharing or airing personal items, they will remain unidentified.

Be the first one to show some compassion - with a simple smile, a greeting, or simple wink of the eye. Make someone, even in passing, feel better than they did before they saw you.

My request of you today is simple. Forgive and move beyond your anger because you do not know the adversity someone is facing.  Be the blessing.

Item #4815: I was able to help lift someone up with constructive words that helped them walk a little lighter. Tomorrow, I hope someone will do the same for me.

I love your guts!