More junk!

This is the week of doctor appointments - Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Well, the first one sucked! I went to see the NP at my gyno's office and she said, 'Oh my!' I turned my head to look at the monitor and I saw them staring back at me...cysts the size of the screen. Of course they are magnified, but holy macaroni. Here we go again.

I'm not sure if there were two huge ones or 4 of them. The NP tried to twist around to see the back and I almost lifted off the exam table, so she stopped and confirmed for me that my right ovary has been invaded. Now, why couldn't this be the case where I could produce follicles this size back 15 years ago when we were trying to have a baby. *SIGH*

When I walked through the door for my appointment, this is NOT the news I wanted to hear and I am sure Casey did not want to give it to me. While I was there, she took many photos of the offenders and gave me a set to share with my oncologist on Friday. BLEK! More decisions to come.

Tomorrow, I go see my surgeon who took the cyst out of me a few weeks back. This is just a routine check and I know for sure I will be in and out in no time. Dr. B is such a great joy to chat with and she has great stories to tell. I cannot wait to hear the story of the day tomorrow.

Then on Friday, I take all my info from Monday and Wednesday and have a heart-to-heart discussion with Dr. H. I have many questions and scenarios outlined. I am ready to hear what she has to suggest and offer as resolution.

Take time to appreciate the rain because it can't rain all the time. The sun has to come out...eventually.

I love your guts!

Freedom!

Sorry for the suspense. I was a bit distracted. The 'thorn' in my side is gone and I have a scar in the process of healing. The initial diagnosis of the lump is that there is no cancer detected - AMEN! I will see my surgeon late next week for final pathology review (standard procedure) and give her a big hug. Then tell her, I hope to only see her at coffee shops around town.

I have an awesome support system of family and friends. Thank you all! I am not strong without your support. I am 18 months out from being diagnosed with breast cancer and doing my best to keep healthy but vigilant about seeing my doctors and being aware of any changes that need attention.

Today is Independence Day and I reflect on how a small group of men from England fled their home to change their future and the future of their children. I declare my freedom from the disease of cancer and will do all I can to continue to be free from the chaos it causes me and those around me.

Blessing #538: Be honest with yourself and others. Give big hugs and mean what you say.

I love your guts!

Get out, Jack!

Uncle Si - courtesy of Duck Dynasty

Friday afternoon my surgeon, Dr. B, will remove the 'thorn' in my side. When I refer to thorn, it is the lump I found under my skin on my left ribs. 

My doctors say this will be easy to take care of but what I hear is, 'Ok neurotic lady, we will do what it takes to make you feel better. And check to see if the mass is cancerous or not.' One thing I learned form others in my cancer support group is to continue to keep a positive attitude. Nothing is too small to be ignored. Address everything with your doctor because you never know what is going on inside of you.

What do I need? Pray that I heal quickly and get back on track. I have things to do and places to visit.

I love your guts!

One more thing...

I am not giving this disease the power it is looking for today. It wants to suck the life out of me. Well, buddy, get in line. It's not the initial diagnosis that is painful and hits you like a truck. It is the living with the aftermath and not knowing what the heck is going on in the superhighway under your skin.

Tomorrow I go visit (ha, like we're old friends) my surgeon because I found an almond sized lump under my skin on my ribs. Yes, this is right. The bump is similar in fashion to what I found over a year ago. So, tomorrow, I 'visit' my surgeon to set up a date to get this jackass out of me. However, I want to make sure we don't make a habit of seeing each other too often, so I am asking if I should have a PET scan to see if there are more and if we should make a party of this event. [sigh]

Yes, I am distracted by this occurrence. Not as much as I was when I was told that I have cancer. My oncologist thinks there is a low chance that it is cancer, especially since my markers have been on the low side. However, it is not certain until they get it out and test it to get the final word. 

My message today is not inspirational or breakthrough. I am anxious, mad and tired all wrapped into a neat little bow. My kids keep me laughing and this is the best thing. Yes, I am working from home and they are here with me as a reminder of what is most important for me at the end of the day. I have it better than most and am so very thankful. Kiss those you love. Hug them tight. And give that one friend a call and tell them you were thinking about them and hope they are doing well. Those tiny gestures go a long way beyond the moment.

I love your guts!

Now I need to go clean up little hands full of paint because I left them unsupervised to write this entry.