Tattoos and finesse

Tattoos

This past Sunday morning, I cut back the rose bush in my back yard and transplanted it closer to the fence. Well, it was a bit warm out and I got sweaty. When I went inside to shower, I noticed a couple of the X's on my ribs began to slide and peel. Several thoughts raced through my head, "If these are off just a bit, then the radiation will go in the wrong place," and "I do not want to do the mapping again! There was entirely too much time of being still." After I showered and gathered my thoughts, I made a note to remind myself to let the tech know some of the markers had shifted.


The next morning, the first thing I did was tell Megan about the event the morning before. Laying there on the table, she gave me some great news. All is well. Whew! That was a close call. Treatment on Monday went well and I was on my way.


This morning after my treatment, I met with my doctor. (Typical event on Tuesdays) I asked her what can be done to prevent the stickers from falling off of me if I want to jog, run or just do yard work and happen to get sweaty. She smiled and said that the solution was to get tattoos. What? I was shocked. She chuckled a bit and told me that it would be little dots on me and they would look like small moles. In my mind I said, "Well, heck yes, sign me up!" But to her I said, "Oh, well that sounds simple. Do I have to wait to give you a decision next week." No, I could tell Megan and she can do it after my appointment tomorrow morning. As I left the appointment, all I could think about was how great the solution is to this issue. I know I will not be running every day, but at least I can shower normally and not have to be so careful. Plus, what are a few dots...I can live with them.

Finesse

I have friends in all corners of the world and tucked away in super-cool places around town. One friend of mine that usually travels a lot was one that I wanted to share my news with face-to-face, but I think I may have blown it today. I told her over email that I have cancer and included the address to my blog. How insensitive of me breaking the news like this - via email and closing the message with "I have to run to a meeting. Talk to you later." However, I may have sent you a text and followed up with a phone call or you may have been on the receiving end of an email. I can deliver a presentation to a room full of strangers but when it comes to sharing news like this with people I call family or friend, I have no finesse. I know she is a great friend because we are quickly meeting over lunch in a couple of days. Where have all my manners and grace gone? Well, if you find them, please send them home, where they belong.

Item # 47: Be kinder than you have to be and treat others like you would like to be treated.

I love your guts! 

Big chicken

Last week, my Aunt Mary was over at our house helping me out with dinner when  Brett asked me if I had diabetes. He was direct and looked at me in the eyes waiting for a response. I said no, I don't have diabetes. He acted like he wanted me to tell him but said nothing and just stared at me. Why was I scared to tell a 6 year old that his mommy has cancer? Well, probably because it is true, I am a big chicken. 


Then the other day, Madison saw one of the X's on me and said, "Lift up your shirt and show me all of them. I know there are more." I showed her the ones on my ribs. Then she began to count. I didn't offer up any more information. Again, I froze and said nothing. 


This morning when Jeff brought me home from my treatment, she asked how I was feeling and hugged me softly. I told her I felt good and needed her hug to make me feel better.


I know they do not understand the word cancer. I could explain it in a way they can understand: there are germs inside me that the doctors are trying to make go away. And every day during the week I go see the doctor so he can help get them out of me. Yeah, that sounds good. However, this big chicken won't say anything until they ask or mention something again. Bok, bok!


 Item #199: Pray not for things but for wisdom and courage. Today ask for courage when others around you are chicken.


I love your guts!


P.S. Now I am hungry for chicken.

Microwave me again, please

While sitting around the table at my parents' house after we all enjoyed a yummy Easter lunch, my aunt asks me how treatment is going. I smile and say that they are going well. I had three last week and the cream my mom found for me is working well. Then I am asked if my hair will fall out. I reply that it will not fall out but say that I will get laser treatment under my right arm so they both match after treatments are finished. I try to laugh because it's the best way for me. (wait for it, your laughter is coming...) Then I hear my husband say, "it's like she's getting microwaved." For a second there is silence and then I begin laughing. Soon, everyone chuckles. Yes, he is right. Dammit, he is right, again. The sound when I am in the room is like a microwave. It did not dawn on me to describe it that way, but it's a perfect analogy.

I was driven to make this entry because as I sit at my desk at work, I am beginning to feel a burning sensation under my arm in the area that gets zapped. Oh, and I have an hour meeting to sit through. I have cream in my bag but to make the feeling go away, I think about running out into the rain and letting it pour all over me to cool me off. Yes, cold rain is what I imagine and the burning does not hurt so bad. Distraction - this is the key.


Item #414: You will chuckle the next time you hear the microwave. Just know that I am laughing with you.


Item #249: Next time it rains, stand there for a moment and let it fall on you. If you have kids or pets, let them hang out in the rain for a while. This is why you have towels.


I love your guts!

It was a good week

Nothing but good things to say about the treatments so far. It is not painful. I go to the doctor's office for treatments. I have been there early in the morning, so they don't interfere with office time. Yes, I am working while this is happening. There isn't any reason why I can't work, plus it makes the days go by quickly.


For those curious about what the treatment is like, here is a link to the site of the manufacturer of the machine used for my treatments. Watch the videos, they are informative.


I did feel sleepy when I got home and was in bed earlier than normal. I expect this will be the norm for me, but I'm not complaining - sleep is good. Thank you Aunt Linda for the help on Monday. Big thanks to Mom for finding the soothing cream that I need for these treatments. Thank you Aunt Mary for dinner and bathing the kids Thursday evening. I won't tell Thomas that you do know how to cook. Dinner was a hit! Thank you to Lori R. for taking me to lunch and bringing me home this week. 


I look forward to the weekend. Tonight, my friend Joyce gets married - Congrats to her and Randy. No soccer tomorrow, so we are sleeping late (at least until 8am). Sunday, the Easter bunny arrives. Have a great Good Friday and a Happy Easter! To those that are going to see Tim Tebow at Celebration Church in Round Rock, please be careful. Traffic is going to be a bear.


I love your guts!