Fear

The F-word

This 4-letter f-word is something that I try to squash because when you give into it, you give it power over you. I cannot live in fear of what might happen or happen again. I would not be human if I was without an ounce of this in me. My controlling personality clashes with this emotion and I have to be aware enough to recognize when it is creeping into my daily life. You have my permission to do what it takes to snap me out of it if I am using the f-word, either in conversation or through my actions.

Anticipation

I have not been to see my hair stylist since before Christmas. I think instinctively my hair has been growing at a snails pace on purpose - probably because of the f-word. This Saturday afternoon, I will spend about 3 hours getting my hair highlighted and trimmed. I am OVERDUE...kind of like returning books to the library. I am not going to get it cut short, just a little off the ends. I appreciate the positive words of encouragement and understanding from her. Going in will be an awesome treat.

I will end on a funny note. Last week when we were at the beach with the kids, Madison and I were picking up sea shells. We inspected all the shells we picked up and were happy to find fractions of a shell. My hands got full pretty fast. Soon, I was lucky enough to find a sea shell in tact. I showed Madison and told her that I found a sand dollar. She was so excited and said, "Wow, a real sand dollar? When can we spend it? Are there sand quarters?" The lady passing by laughed and I couldn't help it either. I laughed and told her no, that it is not money, it is a sea shell. The explanation was in vain because she did not understand the concept. She came to me a while later with the tiny clam shells and said, "Here. I found some sand pennies. Put these with the sand dollar." Again, I burst into laughter. What a great day shell shopping on the beach. Best day ever! 

I think we will steal a weekend soon to make a trip back. I still have the parking sticker and do not care where we lay our head. Maybe Madison will bring a big bucket so we can get some more sand "money". Ha!

I love your guts!