Over a year ago, normal for me is not as different as it is today. Chasing my kids and watching them learn new things while keeping life together. Today, I know that the next 363 more days have to be more fantastic than the last 6 months.
There are times when we have the courage of a lion and the will of a sloth. The lion in us makes us believe we can do anything our mouth says. When it comes down to action, we move like the sloth - slow, methodical and only giving minimum effort because we realize there has been a disconnect between our mouth and our brain. I am sure this has happened to none of you. I know this has happened to me many times over and sure it will happen again. However, I am on a path to remedy this in my life. When I say it, I will follow up with the action. Yes, I will need you to nudge me, slap me on the back or even put a bull horn to my ears and shout at me. I may lean on you without asking for help.
I had an appointment with my oncologist Monday morning and the discussion was very candid. I reminded her of the one refill I had left on the lovely Tamoxifen. She asked how the Pristiq was working for me, since last month. Most days I do feel good, but there are some days where daily activities are a struggle. She explained that it takes several months - as many as 6 to "find your normal". I am working at being active every day and apparently need to do better. This was not what I was expecting to hear. I also need to take up a hobby or take an interest in something that keeps me active. Finding this will take some time. I have about 90 days, because I go back and see her in November, so I should have an answer for her. By the way, my lab work turned out normal. Great - good news, even in small doses is good.
I do not know how to act my age. I am not sure any of us do this well. Be aware that challenges set before us can be conquered, regardless of your linear age. Run with scissors. Jump down the stairs one at a time. Walk slowly and look at nature around you. Go outside and get at least 20 minutes of sunshine - regardless of how hot is is out there. Feel the grass between your toes.
I love your guts!
My work day has been focused on a lot of little tasks that have collected for a week. Several minutes ago, I stopped to chat with my former executive director for a few minutes about my project. About 10 minutes passed and she came by my desk with a couple of card with inspirational sayings on one side and a bible verse on the other. They were fitting and I wanted to share them with you.
"This is truly who you are. A woman chosen. A woman set apart. A woman appointed. God has made you you and has placed you here. On purpose." This one resonates with me because I find myself asking 'why' almost all the time. I should stop and read this card to remind myself of the answer.
"Your God can be trusted to grant you the supply you need to excel at His purpose. So if you don't have it --- whatever it is---it's because you don't need it. You may want is, but it's not necessary in order to accomplish what He knows is most important for your life today." Wow. This one hits me right in the gut. He does supply what I need and gives me what I can handle and so often I am reaching for more. Perhaps it has been in my basket all along.
Others are brought into our lives to help us on our journey. Each and every one of you have helped me through mine. Especially during this rocky road (nope, not the ice cream). Thank you. Maybe I could pay you back in sand dollars - HA! If you read the previous post, this one-liner would be funny. I am laughing out loud.
I love your guts!
Thank you in advance to all that are able to help.
On Monday, Jeff will be with me. We arrive at the hospital bright an early and should be home later in the afternoon. He will spend his day in the waiting room in the front of the hospital through the doors near valet parking. If you are looking for him and want to come sit with him or bring him something to eat or drink, this is where you can find him. I will send you his mobile number if you send me a message.
We are in process of making arrangements for the kids to get to their regularly scheduled Monday destinations. My extended family will be bringing evening meals Monday - Saturday. Jeff returns to work on Tuesday. My aunt Linda will come by in the mornings to come check on me and help me. Lorenzo will be there in the middle of the day.
Thursday, March 8, Madison will not have soccer practice, so there is no need to shuttle her to practice that evening. However, I would ask that we have someone come by the house for the evening to help me out with the kids - homework and shower for bed. This is the evening that Jeff and Lorenzo are in class.
This Thursday, my friend Joyce will come by and help with dinner and hanging out with Brett while I get Madison to practice.
A huge thank you to my parents and Jeff's parents for always pitching in to keep the kids on their schedule. As some of you may know, our kids thrive on routine, especially Brett. Right now, we have only shared with Brett and Madison that I am going to get my belly button fixed at the hospital and will not feel good for a while. This isn't far from the truth, but it is easy for them to understand. As time goes by and questions come from them, we will answer them in terms they can understand. If they ask you questions, please feel free to share with them what you know. If you do not have the answer, they are OK with that response, too.
I cannot express how grateful I am for the warmth and love I feel today, so here is something for you. "People will not remember what you said or what you did. They will remember how you made them feel." (Adaptation of a quote from Maya Angelou)
I love your guts!
