Crisis averted

Sneezing

Think of a time when you had to sneeze and knew you shouldn't because it would mess something up. A couple of examples like getting your hair cut, when driving in 5 o'clock traffic or while you're getting a filling at the dentist. Now you can probably relate to the incident averted this morning.

This morning was no different than any other morning I go in for treatment. Jeff drove me to the doctor's office, discussing whether he should get gas before or after my appointment. We agreed that after would be best. Once we arrived, I changed into the awesome gown they provide. Then I walked back to the huge room to lay on the exam/procedure table. Megan, the technician and I were talking about kids and the weekend while she was helping me get aligned correctly. Everything was normal until she left the room and the machine turned on and "powered up" to begin. The first set of beams began and I could feel it begin. The twitch in my nose. When I inhaled, I could feel it coming. 'Oh crap!' I had seconds before the next set of beams began. I tried to figure out what I could do and how I could move. I almost move my left arm but instead, I moved my right arm quickly up to close my nose. Then the second beam began. I was still like a statue and it felt like I held my nose forever. Funny how 30 seconds feels like forever. After the second beam was finished, the machine moves over to the other side and repeats the process. I am glad to report that the crisis was averted. Who knows what would have been "burned" if I had actually sneezed. Megan said she saw my right arm move but didn't see that I was out of alignment, so she continued. We had a good laugh about how I needed to sneeze. She said that she could stop if necessary. Good. I know this for next time I feel a sneeze coming on, but sometimes I have a slow reaction time.

The next time you have to sneeze, I am sure you won't have a laser beam aimed at you. It's pretty funny, so the next time you sneeze, follow it with laughter.

Item #002: Baseball is like life. You do anything it takes to get on base to keep the opportunity to score alive. Do what it takes to stay in the game - listen, watch the others and take life one play at a time.

I love your guts!

Little things

Sometimes we go so fast and fill up our calendars, there isn't time to stop and appreciate the little things. My friend Kendra (whom I met through the support group of women with breast cancer) is celebrating the fact that her hair is finally growing back. When I saw her post late last week, I could not stop smiling. I was so happy for her. She had the perfect post - a picture of her head with the tiny sprigs of hair growing in where there once was long flowing hair. 


Today, pause for a moment and appreciate the little things. Here are a few to get you thinking, along with my "even if" statements.


Laughter - even if you don't know what is so funny. Birds singing - even if they annoy you and wake you up from a deep sleep. Long grass - walk through it with your bare feet or roll around in it to feel the cool grass on your skin. Say thank you to the person that held the door for you. Smiles - make someone feel better. Wash your hair with care - there are many that miss having a bad hair day. Red lights - even if you are a few minutes late, nobody will remember. Sing really loud - in church or in your car on your daily commute. 


Item #530 - Never give up on anybody, miracles happen. Today pray for those that are struggling and remember that His plan for us was not created in Outlook. Stop looking at your calendar!


I love your guts!

Uncomfortable

Aloe vera is the natural topical treatment for centuries. Well, this is not going to cut it for me. Right now I am very uncomfortable after my treatment this morning. Since I went to the office afterwards, I was not able to use the solution they gave me to treat the area. Tonight I will use this solution so I can soothe the area. Good thing all I need to do for work is type, otherwise I would be out for the count and not sure I would be productive if I did physical labor for a living. I consider myself lucky.


All I can think about right now is how many days next week I actually have to be in the office. When I go into the office, what can I wear that is super comfortable? Yoga clothes? Well, not really, but those who know what is going on with me won't mind. I probably only need to be there two days next week and can get away with cancelling or rescheduling a couple of other meetings.


Item #4: Just because someone moves a little slower than you doesn't mean they won't arrive at the same destination. Be nice...it only stings for a few seconds. [insert laugh track here]

I love your guts. 

Falling down...

This is the week that the doctor and other survivors talk about: week 3 is when the energy level drops. Thank you to Aunt Linda for letting us use your juicer. It has come in handy and now I know I need to juice more often for that burst of energy.

The thud you may have heard around 2pm today was me. I felt all the energy fall out of me and I was ready to fall down. You know that exhausted feeling you get from being up early in the morning, working all day until late into the evening? Well, this was me today after being up for only 8 hours. Yes, I ate breakfast, mid-morning snack and a heart healthy lunch. And still I felt like I was ready to fall down and sleep. The conference room table looked comfortable, but I was too busy giving the presentation. The elevator looked OK, especially if I steered clear of the splat in the back corner.


Yes, I did come home immediately after my meeting. I was home and went straight up stairs to change and lay down. No, not in bed, I was on the office floor, waiting for my 3:30 conf call to take place and then I was going to sleep. Do not fret, laying on the floor was good for me and gave me a chance to stretch out my back and legs. I needed to get the circulation going. Sure, I should have let it go, but I needed to get the info and thank goodness I did because things get lost in translation.


This afternoon I fell asleep at 5:30 and woke up around 7:30 - just in time to help with the kids. Once they were finished, it was my turn. The shower woke me up, but I was still tired. 


Item # 2: The Yankees won tonight! DJ is still the best. And it is not how you start the game but how you finish, so finish strong. I am ready to fight like a girl.


I love your guts!

Tattoos and finesse

Tattoos

This past Sunday morning, I cut back the rose bush in my back yard and transplanted it closer to the fence. Well, it was a bit warm out and I got sweaty. When I went inside to shower, I noticed a couple of the X's on my ribs began to slide and peel. Several thoughts raced through my head, "If these are off just a bit, then the radiation will go in the wrong place," and "I do not want to do the mapping again! There was entirely too much time of being still." After I showered and gathered my thoughts, I made a note to remind myself to let the tech know some of the markers had shifted.


The next morning, the first thing I did was tell Megan about the event the morning before. Laying there on the table, she gave me some great news. All is well. Whew! That was a close call. Treatment on Monday went well and I was on my way.


This morning after my treatment, I met with my doctor. (Typical event on Tuesdays) I asked her what can be done to prevent the stickers from falling off of me if I want to jog, run or just do yard work and happen to get sweaty. She smiled and said that the solution was to get tattoos. What? I was shocked. She chuckled a bit and told me that it would be little dots on me and they would look like small moles. In my mind I said, "Well, heck yes, sign me up!" But to her I said, "Oh, well that sounds simple. Do I have to wait to give you a decision next week." No, I could tell Megan and she can do it after my appointment tomorrow morning. As I left the appointment, all I could think about was how great the solution is to this issue. I know I will not be running every day, but at least I can shower normally and not have to be so careful. Plus, what are a few dots...I can live with them.

Finesse

I have friends in all corners of the world and tucked away in super-cool places around town. One friend of mine that usually travels a lot was one that I wanted to share my news with face-to-face, but I think I may have blown it today. I told her over email that I have cancer and included the address to my blog. How insensitive of me breaking the news like this - via email and closing the message with "I have to run to a meeting. Talk to you later." However, I may have sent you a text and followed up with a phone call or you may have been on the receiving end of an email. I can deliver a presentation to a room full of strangers but when it comes to sharing news like this with people I call family or friend, I have no finesse. I know she is a great friend because we are quickly meeting over lunch in a couple of days. Where have all my manners and grace gone? Well, if you find them, please send them home, where they belong.

Item # 47: Be kinder than you have to be and treat others like you would like to be treated.

I love your guts! 

Big chicken

Last week, my Aunt Mary was over at our house helping me out with dinner when  Brett asked me if I had diabetes. He was direct and looked at me in the eyes waiting for a response. I said no, I don't have diabetes. He acted like he wanted me to tell him but said nothing and just stared at me. Why was I scared to tell a 6 year old that his mommy has cancer? Well, probably because it is true, I am a big chicken. 


Then the other day, Madison saw one of the X's on me and said, "Lift up your shirt and show me all of them. I know there are more." I showed her the ones on my ribs. Then she began to count. I didn't offer up any more information. Again, I froze and said nothing. 


This morning when Jeff brought me home from my treatment, she asked how I was feeling and hugged me softly. I told her I felt good and needed her hug to make me feel better.


I know they do not understand the word cancer. I could explain it in a way they can understand: there are germs inside me that the doctors are trying to make go away. And every day during the week I go see the doctor so he can help get them out of me. Yeah, that sounds good. However, this big chicken won't say anything until they ask or mention something again. Bok, bok!


 Item #199: Pray not for things but for wisdom and courage. Today ask for courage when others around you are chicken.


I love your guts!


P.S. Now I am hungry for chicken.

Microwave me again, please

While sitting around the table at my parents' house after we all enjoyed a yummy Easter lunch, my aunt asks me how treatment is going. I smile and say that they are going well. I had three last week and the cream my mom found for me is working well. Then I am asked if my hair will fall out. I reply that it will not fall out but say that I will get laser treatment under my right arm so they both match after treatments are finished. I try to laugh because it's the best way for me. (wait for it, your laughter is coming...) Then I hear my husband say, "it's like she's getting microwaved." For a second there is silence and then I begin laughing. Soon, everyone chuckles. Yes, he is right. Dammit, he is right, again. The sound when I am in the room is like a microwave. It did not dawn on me to describe it that way, but it's a perfect analogy.

I was driven to make this entry because as I sit at my desk at work, I am beginning to feel a burning sensation under my arm in the area that gets zapped. Oh, and I have an hour meeting to sit through. I have cream in my bag but to make the feeling go away, I think about running out into the rain and letting it pour all over me to cool me off. Yes, cold rain is what I imagine and the burning does not hurt so bad. Distraction - this is the key.


Item #414: You will chuckle the next time you hear the microwave. Just know that I am laughing with you.


Item #249: Next time it rains, stand there for a moment and let it fall on you. If you have kids or pets, let them hang out in the rain for a while. This is why you have towels.


I love your guts!

It was a good week

Nothing but good things to say about the treatments so far. It is not painful. I go to the doctor's office for treatments. I have been there early in the morning, so they don't interfere with office time. Yes, I am working while this is happening. There isn't any reason why I can't work, plus it makes the days go by quickly.


For those curious about what the treatment is like, here is a link to the site of the manufacturer of the machine used for my treatments. Watch the videos, they are informative.


I did feel sleepy when I got home and was in bed earlier than normal. I expect this will be the norm for me, but I'm not complaining - sleep is good. Thank you Aunt Linda for the help on Monday. Big thanks to Mom for finding the soothing cream that I need for these treatments. Thank you Aunt Mary for dinner and bathing the kids Thursday evening. I won't tell Thomas that you do know how to cook. Dinner was a hit! Thank you to Lori R. for taking me to lunch and bringing me home this week. 


I look forward to the weekend. Tonight, my friend Joyce gets married - Congrats to her and Randy. No soccer tomorrow, so we are sleeping late (at least until 8am). Sunday, the Easter bunny arrives. Have a great Good Friday and a Happy Easter! To those that are going to see Tim Tebow at Celebration Church in Round Rock, please be careful. Traffic is going to be a bear.


I love your guts!

Ready. Set. Go.

This is the sunset from the soccer field where Madison practices. I snapped this with my phone a couple of weeks ago.  You are probably wondering what this has to do with anything. Well, I am reminded that each moment we have is temporary and when times are good or great, we need to soak in every moment. When things are tough or terrible, we need to take a deep breath and know He will heal our hurt. 


Tomorrow I begin radiation treatments. I will post as often as possible over the next 6 weeks. So, stay tuned.


Thank you to all who are with me on this journey - those near and far, as well as those who have gone before us. I love you all.


I love your guts!