It isn't always about me

Distracted. This morning I was so distracted by my packed schedule at work that I forgot to line up everything I needed for the day and missed taking my badge from my work out bag to put it in my purse. Luckily, I was able to arrive early enough at work to get a temporary sticker badge. This may sound routine for most people but for me it is a reminder that my life feels more normal today, before I knew I had cancer. 

The drugs are doing their job, I think. It is the side effects that remind you that your understanding of normal before diagnosis will never come back. My new normal has heightened my awareness of everything. I'm almost like Spiderman but not lucky enough to have been bitten by a spider but slammed against the wall with cancer. Today I reflect on the children told they have cancer and the parents that have to endure the process with them. I pray for their tiny hands and big hearts to be a fighter to make it through to be a survivor. This is not a commercial for my company, but they are doing a great deal to support the fight against childhood cancer by providing cutting edge technology to doctors and scientists to treat children and find a cure. We work every day in service of our customer and their outcomes to do and achieve more and by supporting this effort, our company has put their resources where it can make a big difference...because cancer sucks, but it is worse when cancer is in our kids.


When you see your loved ones or friends today, take a moment to let them know you love and appreciate them. A little kindness goes a long way. 


I love your guts!


P.S. Suck it, cancer!

Thank you

Thank you to my friends that gave Lorenzo a positive reference. He applied for countless jobs over the last couple of months and this one sounds like it will be a good one. He applied at the YMCA to work in the after-school program. He is also enrolled in school full-time and has all his classes in the morning.

What else is there to smile about today? My project got an extension so we can deliver a first class event in January. This doesn't mean I can relax, it just means I have a longer runway to get pieces to the event locked.


Other smile worthy items - the sun is shining today, my friend got a new job, we are in the second half of the baseball season and I'm wearing sandals today.


Make today special...hug someone you love.


I love your guts! 

Finding my zen

The Clay Madsen center has closed off the pool and locker rooms because of some maintenance issue, so I figured I would take yoga classes on Mondays and Wednesdays until it is fixed. Monday, I went to the Hatha class and was glad I could make the 5pm class. When I arrived at the yoga room, I realized that I forgot my mat and had to use an extra mat from their mat basket. Good thing there is alcohol to wipe it down, otherwise, I would have passed on the session. Yes, I'm a bit phobic about sharing stuff like that - you know me :)

As class began, I felt calm and was in the moment. This place is great because as we moved from pose to pose, I was able to focus on my breathing and let tension go. Our days get so busy going from one activity and commitment to another that we often forget that we need to stop and enjoy watching leaves sway in the wind. Really listen to the sounds around us and just be in the moment. 


When I feel out of my relaxed spot, I remind myself to breathe in, breathe out and move on. I cannot stay in the moment of negativity because my energy is needed elsewhere. Remember, we are all on a journey and there is no right way to get to the destination. 


I love your guts!

Chatting about reality

This morning I met an old friend to connect. She and I go way back at work and share the latest news - professionally and personally. I was reminded of how important it is for me to be more transparent about what is going on with me because I got a poke about not updating this blog as often as I should. Yes, it has been a week since my last post, so here is the 4-1-1.

Truth

I am feeling good. Fact. Not all the time. Fact. I have more good than bad days. Fact. OK, enough with the fact, but I was thinking about Dwight from The Office and it made me laugh, so I had to incorporate it into my message to set some context.

A couple of weeks ago, large cysts were discovered on my ovaries. I am not in any pain and pray that my follow up appointment shows they have disappeared or that action needs to take place to resolve the issue. Most importantly, identify what can be done to make sure they do not come back again. In the mean time, I see my oncologist in a few weeks and will have an in-depth conversation with her to get assurance that this isn't something I should be concerned about. In other words - that this is not cancer.

When I was sick with the flu, I called my oncologist to make her aware and find out if I should be "concerned." Yes, every time I get sick, feel achy or just not OK, I may over-react. I would rather know nothing is going on rather than something. Again, I have too many things to get done to have cancer stand in my way. Move it, cancer! Busy lady with a full life coming through. 

Exercise

I am mixing up my exercise routine. I am attending water aerobic classes at the Clay Madsen center. Yes, most of the attendees are over 60, but there are a few of us that are not quite there in the class. I like it because it's different and not so hard on my joints and I don't sweat. As long as I'm moving to make up for all the sitting behind the keyboard, I will be happy. Funny how a rush of endorphin makes you feel great. Try it, you might like it.

I am blessed. I am strong. I am healthy. I am busy. No time to stop, there is too much that I still want to do. Plus, Brazil is 7 months away and I'm scouting out hotels. Rio better get ready because here I come!

I love your guts!

Embrace the rain

We got some rain this weekend and I was pleasantly surprised. Jeff and I went to IKEA to look at couches and futons for the game room. When we were leaving it was pouring down rain. So many people were waiting for the rain to stop so they could go to their car. Jeff asked me if I wanted to wait. My response was, "...no way. I endured radiation, what is a little water?" We parked in the new parking garage and walked from one structure to another without incident...except a little water. As we drove out of the garage, I saw people still sitting and waiting for the rain to stop. What for? Just get wet - it's temporary and soon you will be dry.


I am doing well and getting back into the groove at work. Lots to keep me busy. Feeling better every day. We are  looking forward to a quick trip to the beach with the kids at the end of the month. Nothing like putting your feet in the sand and listening to the kids play in the water.


Today I live with gratitude. I listened to the fast footsteps of the high-energy squirrel on my rooftop before I got out of bed. I am convinced that he's warming up to run a 5K. I enjoyed feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin walking from my car to the office. When we take care of ourselves, we have the opportunity to do for others.


I love your guts!

Bear - cat

 The photo of the bear represents me on Tamoxifen for the last 6 weeks. I would be unBEARable with others. I did not feel quite right even though I know the medicine is supposed to help me. When I went for my 6 week check up to find out how I am doing, I was blunt with my oncologist and told Dr. H how I felt and that it was not conducive for a happy home life. She suggested another medication to take in addition to Tamoxifen, because she strongly suggested that Tamoxifen was my only course of action preventing future recurrence of cancer. Of course I could not argue but divert the conversation to shoes. Yes, we talked about shoes. She loves shoes and I like shoes to look cute and be functional for the task I am asking of my feet. She said that the additional prescription (Pristiq) should help me balance my mood and that I must go purchase some shoes. "Awesome!" A prescription to purchase shoes. I'm all over it. I have to go back and see her in 6 weeks (just after my birthday) so she can check to see how I am doing with the cocktail of medication. Plus, show off some of the new shoes I purchased. She anticipates that I would feel better which I translate to more kitten-like attitude. (This is the reason for the kitty photo.)


I am taking things one day at a time and remind myself take care of today. 1,784 days until I'm finished with the medication. 19 days until Brett turns 7. 26 days until we go to the beach. 80 days until Madison turns 5. 


Please do not search the Internet for the side effects of the medicines, you will worry for nothing. If you want to read something I found interesting, here is an article I would have like to read 6 months ago http://huff.to/MvIcYJ 


I love your guts!